By now I’m sure many of you reading this are familiar with this clip…go ahead and watch it…
While what the tv host says here is funny in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt it’s a sadly true reality about most of the women you and I know, and many of the women we are ourselves. We are afraid of appearing rude. And what we really are saying most of the time when we do things to avoid appearing rude is we apologize for having emotions. We apologize for feeling uncomfortable about something, feeling unsafe, feeling that our needs aren’t getting met, feeling like we are getting trampled by someone else’s emotions. But somehow being rude seems far worse than being emotional. And so we hide our emotions. We hide our fears. We minimize our needs to be heard, to be loved, to be respected. And while most of us do not end up as an Indiana Mole Woman, we do end up hurt. We end up in dead end relationships, we end up broken hearted and feeling like there is no one that would actually care to take the time for us to heal.
Now I am not saying that we should go emotion crazy and unapologetically wreck havoc on the lives of those around us. But what I am saying is that we as women need to feel the freedom to feel. We need to feel the freedom to have our voices heard. We need to stop apologizing for our emotions and being afraid of appearing rude. We need to do all of this with grace and patience and understanding for those we are talking to, but we need to get some boundaries and learn to be powerful people that are honest about how they feel. Because we were created to be emotional. Our emotions are one of the most beautiful and deep parts of being a woman, and we need stop apologizing for it.
Maybe this post resonates with you and you want to feel that freedom to feel but you don’t know how. I would recommend seeing a counselor to discuss those fears and have a safe place to begin being honest about your emotions. I would also highly recommend the book Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk. In that book he talks about being a powerful person and living life with healthy boundaries and healthy relationships. And healthy relationships because you know how to be healthy, not just because the other people have changed. Another great resource to start with is this blog post about how to stop apologizing for your emotions.